🔗 Share this article

On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically followed by a “emotional downturn”, where he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his behavior, rendering him highly sensitive to disapproval from external sources. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits through digital sources – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. But, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment unless he had already reached that understanding on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Although people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, adding the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, because of significant negative perception linked to the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Although a significant majority of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are males, research points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the covert form, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” notes a young adult who posts about her co-occurring conditions on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she says, since when I’m told that I am at fault, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this response – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures in her youth. I’ve had to teach myself all this time which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that in my formative years,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my household were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was actually she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for psychological counseling on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: “They said it is likely to occur in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he explains. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the presence of online advocates and the development of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number